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Dealing with an Unplanned Second Pregnancy

[5 Steps to Explain Adoption to your Older Children]

If you’re considering adoption for your baby because you’re already raising a child or children, American Adoptions has helped many women in your situation and we can do the same for you.

Putting a second child up for adoption can be a difficult thing to do. But, if you know this is the best thing for yourself and your child, then you are completely valid in your decision. Adoption is a brave and selfless decision that comes from a place of love and compassion. Adoption could be the best choice for your baby and your other children.

“Even when [my oldest daughter] Trinity was in my belly, I promised her, ‘I’m going to give you the absolute best life that you deserve,’” said Lindsey, a birth mother who placed her second child for adoption. “When I got pregnant with Charlotte, I promised her the exact same thing. Giving both of them the best life meant placing Charlotte for adoption and continuing to take care of Trinity and the health issues that she has.” 

If you need help coping with an unplanned third pregnancy, American Adoptions is happy to help. Many of our adoption specialists have been through the adoption process as birth parents and have the personal adoption experience to understand what you’re going through. We know that the choice you’re making is a great sacrifice, and we want to give you the support you deserve. We’ve helped many expectant mothers in a variety of unique circumstances and we want to do the same for you.

That’s why we created this guide on how to cope with a second unplanned pregnancy and how to speak with your other child or children about your decision. To get support now, reach out to one of our adoption specialists online or call 1-800-ADOPTION.

How to Deal with an Unplanned Second Pregnancy in Missouri

If you need help coping with your unplanned second pregnancy or your unplanned third pregnancy, then adoption might be your best choice. In fact, most pregnant women who consider adoption already have children and are facing an unwanted second pregnancy or dealing with an unplanned third pregnancy. 

There are plenty of reasons women consider adoption. You might not have the resources to provide for another child, or maybe you’re just not emotionally ready. In either case, placing your baby with a loving adoptive family could be one of the best choices you ever make.

So whether you’re putting your 2nd child up for adoption, coping with an unplanned 3rd pregnancy or need unplanned 4th pregnancy help, we can help you find the perfect family for your baby.

“I am very proud to say that since choosing adoption, my family has come a long way from where we were. It took a lot of hard work and growing up, but I wouldn’t change a thing,” said Heather, a birth mother who worked with American Adoptions to successfully place her baby for adoption while raising other children.  

Regardless of whether or not you’re a first time mom or are dealing with an unplanned second pregnancy, choosing adoption is not giving up. It couldn’t be further from it. Choosing adoption is making a sacrifice to give your baby the gift of a family who can provide them with the life that you’ve always wanted for them.

Listed below are five steps to talking about putting your second child up for adoption:

Step 1. Talk to an Adoption Specialist

Our adoption specialists can give you tips for coping with an unplanned second pregnancy and how to speak to your older child about your decision. We can even offer adoption education opportunities for your child so that they can get an understanding of what adoption is and what it means to have a sibling raised by another family.

Step 2. Introduce the Idea of Adoption

By introducing the idea of adoption early on in your pregnancy, your child or children will gradually develop a better understanding of what’s going on. Speak of adoption in positive terms and answer any questions your children may have. Once they are well acquainted with the idea, talk about your decision to choose adoption for the new baby.

Step 3. Explain Your Decision to Choose Adoption

Your children might have questions about why you’re choosing adoption. Explain to them that you love your baby and that they will always be your children’s brother or sister, but that the baby will be raised by another family who cannot have children on their own or simply wants to give a child a home. Don’t be afraid of this conversation. Speak about adoption openly and positively. Let them know that you are choosing adoption because you love your baby and want the best for them.

Step 4. Involve your Children

Once your children understand your decision, you can involve them in the adoption if everyone is comfortable with the idea. They can help you look through adoptive family profiles or be a part of other important discussions. If you feel it’s appropriate, maybe they can get to know the adoptive family with you. After all, this will be the family that will be raising their sibling and it might help them adjust to the adoption knowing they were able to play a part.

Step 5. Check-in with your Children

Adoption is an emotional decision for not only you but for your children as well. Check with them in regards to how they are feeling about everything. Encourage them to express their emotions and speak openly about the adoption.  You can take them shopping so they can pick out a toy for their sibling or sit down with them and have them draw pictures or write letters. Don’t rush things. There’s no set time limit when it comes to processing the emotions that come with adoption. Just be sure to check in with your children regularly and give them time to adjust.

Begin Your Adoption Journey Today

Putting a second child (or third, fourth…) is a difficult decision to make, but it is an incredibly selfless and heroic one. You’re giving your baby the best life possible and making sure that you can continue caring for the children you currently have to the best of your ability. If you want to start your adoption process today, American Adoptions is here for you. To get more information on coping with an unplanned third pregnancy, contact us online today or call 1-800-ADOPTION at any time.

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. American Adoptions provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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